#because how can i not inject it into the discussion lol

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

The desert people in mangahood drive me mad because I actually like that Ishvalans have unique characteristics rarely seen in fantasy (usually white-haired people with unusual eye colours are light-skinned like in Game of Thrones) but also realistically....you would think that there would be a portion of Ishvalans with Xerxesian features because they're the closest neighbours to this lost civilisation, not Amestris, and unless all the people of Xerxes were locked in their city, they would have likely married into the local Ishvalan population as well

Like in my head Ishvalans actually live across the entire desert area (not unlike early decentralised Arab societies) with Ishvalans like Scar being sedentary inhabitants of lands closer to Amestris and those in the heart of the desert being nomads - and you would THINK that because of their closer proximity to Xerxes, there would be gold-eyed Ishvalans but NO because then the Ed wouldn't get to ev a special little descendant of a lost people

Also on a conspiratorial note, I have always wondered whether the reason Ishvalans have a negative attitude towards alchemy is because of Xerxes.

Given the lore in 03 and mangahood! Scar's brother saying that alkahestry's principles has similarities with Ishvalan religious beliefs, I think it's not too outlandish to speculate that Ishvalans practiced alchemy to some extent until they saw their prosperous and powerful neighbour (who were even more into alchemy than themselves) literally die in one night. I'd burn the records too and place a ban on the practice as a safety measure fhsnjd

Now I'm actually incredibly insane because the Ishvalan genocide absolutely did not need to be so bloody. All the other blood seals in the country get away with a riot or a battle, but Ishvalans were systematically exterminated; I saw somebody else in the tag wonder whether Father had personal issues with this desert civilisation that, despite its abandonment of alchemy, might be able to see through his schemes because their knowledge of the craft (lost though it might be) predates Amestrian knowledge - and really he was right because Scar's brother cracked the code years before anybody else!!!!

I just had to share my thoughts with you in light of your recent reblog🙏🏻 And also thank you for always answering your asks so thoughtfully!!!

[The reblog that this ask is in reference to.]

Oh shit, hey cool Miles/Scar anon! Always good to see an ask from ya again! :D

[Reply under the readmore]

Anime has no shortage of darker skinned characters with white hair, but certainly the combination of red eyes is less common. I appreciate that fma as a broad series does also have melanated characters with dark hair as well, so it manages to largely avoid the "singular ambiguous ethnic group, no other dark skin tones with realistic dark hair/eyes anywhere to be seen" trope. But you're not wrong, other types of media, particularly from the West, keeps different hair and eye colours for light skin/white fantasy 'races'.

(To digress a bit, I do prefer 03 having the Ishbalans be diverse in their hair colours, so as not to render them as a visual monolith ala mangahood. Still, white hair + red eyes + brown skin tone makes for a visually striking design choice.)

Absolutely agreed with everything regarding Ishval's connection to the surrounding geography and Xerxes. There should have been some Xerxian traits across some modern Ishvalans. Hell, why weren't there any Ishvalan traits with any of the far-too racially homogeneous (and bizarrely white and blond) Xerxians? The idea of there being agriculturally settled Ishvalans that make up the country we know of, while there are nomadic Ishvalans that call the vast "unamed" desert their home is so good! This helps recontextualize that odd no-man's-land treatment of the landmass between Xing and the eastern borders of Amestris, Drachma, and Aerugo: it's that the Amestrian regime does not recognize that land as peopled, ala a form of Terra Nullus (and thus an Amestrian-styled Manifest Destiny for the regions of the desert that would serve to cement Father's bordered geographical alchemic circle). Unsure if the large nations of Drachma and Aerugo similarly project that same racist, imperial lens on the desert as well, but famously the nation state is not a civilizational model that honours, acknowledges, or respects nomadic lifeways and peoples.

Imagine what other Ishvalan or Ishvalan-connected/derived settlements may exist closer to Xing too! And the traits that cross between travel and immigration to and from these societies. It's interesting to contemplate on!

To get back on track here:

I guess we're meant to see much of this country-less desert as the implied size of Xerxes. That this uninhabited land (because canon has no mention of nomadic peoples) is somehow void of (re-)established human life in the 400 years since its calamity. :/ Meh. I rather headcanon that Xerxes was a sizable empire, sure, but that it wasn't the total size of that massive region. If anything, Xerxes could have extended westward into what would one day be Amestrian/Aerugo/maybe even parts of Eastern Drachman territory. This would further highlight Xerxes as the analog to the ancient Persian empire that it's meant to be (which is such a 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 decision because goddamn, why are they all homogeneously fantasy Northern/Eastern European in appearance?!) It had to have had desert neighbours that weren't swallowed into its empire, as well as a slew of racial and ethnic groups amalgamated into its own domain as a result of its own imperialism, land capture, and slavery system.

(As an aside, imagine if instead of wholly navigating an entire desert on her own, Mei encountered and was given some aid by different Ishvalan nomads!)

From a purely world building standpoint, it would have been so cool to see the cultural drift and offshoots that develop amongst the range of Nomadic Ishvalans! Man, I would love to see the ethnic subgroups within settled Ishval too. It's fertile ground for anyone who wants to expand on these cultures, which could be awesome if handled by people who don't make garbage racist headcanons/fanworks.

Mangahood seems satisfied to leave the Ishvalan rejection of alchemy and alkehestry unexplained. This could be seen as encouraging readers to put the pieces together (that it's because of what befell Xerxes), which I appreciate in stories. For this I'll give Arakawa the benefit of the doubt for now. I don't want to jump to seeing this as intentionally racist without further evidence for this specific gap in the lore. However, it could be given a more faithless read as "They became religious fanatics Just Because [they're brown]." With the manga showing a congregation of Ishvalans blowing themselves up as an ambush against invading Amestrian pigs, from the perspective of those traumatized boots (hooray, the Dangerous Religious Orient caricature), it's hard for me not to glower at this lack of explanation.

To repeat myself, I'll interpret it the way you have: that the Ishvalans of four centuries ago saw the empty wasteland where Xerxes once ruled. No one could miss the evidence of an the alchemic reaction stitched into the fabric of the now flattened land. From there alchemy and alkehestry (or its unique Ishvalan practice along those veins) would come to be reviled. That understandable reaction eventually being codified via cultural changes and entering (perhaps even creating new) religious doctrine.

The 2003 anime making it more obvious for audiences to put together that the reason Ishbalan culture and the Ishbala religion condemn alchemy as a dangerous, heretic practice is due to the many life perverting, war-enhancing uses of this magic-science was an excellent choice. That the Grand Arcanum and human transmutation were grievous sources of tragedy and horrors, making what few people who still practice any alchemy into pariahs and exiles. We also are shown alchemy as an analog to European colonists forcibly importing their goods, economic systems, Christianity, and weapons across the world in order to shift the cultures of Indigenous peoples and gradually morph them into a more culturally and economically pliable outpost (further rooting Europe into the land and the people and one day cementing different kingdom's land claims). Alchemy was being touted as this advanced science, a sister to the early industrialism of Amestris. Modern Ishbal is not only alchemy abstaining, but it is also a non-industrial society as well (the fantasy science of alchemy sitting right next to its real world analog for the industrial-colonial system). Amestrian colonizers thought of Ishbalans as reactionary, uncivilized savages (ala the European-supremacist view of the rest of humanity), so when the Ishbalans got fed up of being harangued into displays of the "wonder of alchemy," into adopting the Amestrian way, they firmly reject their would-be colonizers. Amestris responds by armed skirmishes and occupation. All of this only further cements that alchemy is a source of misery and destruction.

Fma 03 does all of this explicit world building because the writers wanted to make it clear that everything we're made to believe about "foreign religious fanatic countries/anti-modern societies", particularly regarding the American invasions into West Asia, is racist propaganda that launders the views of imperial nations and backs their conscription for war. The team didn't want to leave this up to the default, racist assumption that viewers would carry thanks to American dominance.

Sadly, mangahood isn't interested in having this same tact. Why, when mangahood's perspective is instead that Ishval is just as guilty for Amestrian atrocities?

Anyway.

"All the other blood seals in the country get away with a riot or a battle, but Ishvalans were systematically exterminated"

Yes! This! When some people flounder about, claiming that the genocide wasn't racist (HELLO????), I have to wonder if they watched/read the same show/comic. Liorans within the rest of Amestris were not stripped from their place in Amestrian society. They weren't imprisoned and judicially murdered. They weren't thoroughly ethnically cleansed (they get to live on their own land) and genocided. Drachma is a warring imperial nation that Amestris has no hope of full scale invading and exterminating, but we see no evidence that Drachmans in Amestris are slaughtered or imprisoned (I would assume they are generally treated poorly and largely live on the lower rungs of society though). But the Ishvalans are to be fully eradicated. Whatever exceptions exist are being covertly protected by some people with power (Miles under Olivier's protection) or refugees hiding in Amestris' periphery.

It was absolutely racially motivated. It could have just been one locally-contained massacre (which of course would still be an atrocity) and that's it. But no, all of Ishval was occupied, toppled, its people ruthlessly mass slaughtered and transmuted, those within Amestris-proper were mass incarcerated and executed. It's unambiguously fascism and ethnonationalist supremacy.

Interesting theory re: Father going after the Ishvalans due to their historical knowledge of their version of alchemy/alkehestry. I can see that playing some part in his own plotting. Still, the nationalism and racism of Amestrians would not stem solely from one homunculus disseminating propaganda overnight. (Not claiming you're saying this btw!) Those soldiers, cops, members of the judicial and carceral systems, and the civilians themselves who are terrified at the sight of Ishvalans carry a bigotry that has to be rooted more deeply in this society than the last decade or so. Think of white supremacy, which had been formed over 500+ years of global European colonialism.

Father could otherwise then exploit this societal prejudice against the Ishvalans to his benefit. As it seems no other occupied people around Amestris' borders/lands have a history of, or knowledge of, alchemy that is tied to the energy running beneath the planet's mantel, it would behoove him to push Ishval to ruin and encourage further fascist constriction against the remaining Ishvalans.

(Scar Bro big brained moments. Man decodes Amestrian alchemic power and the blood seals in a matter of years of study, leading to the dismantling of the nation's centuries-long alchemic control. Fuck Amestris lol)

-

So sorry for the wait! I'm glad these responses have been enjoyable enough to read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts btw! <3 Your perspective on Ishvalan culture really enhances my appreciation of them under the mangahood continuity, which is desperately needed given canon's indifference towards them.

[tackykachowch]

OKAY CHAT I DIDN'T INTEND IT TO BE THIS WAY BUT THIS POST IS SUPER-HUGE. Read at your own risk lol

*taps the mic* Uh, welcome to Chili's. So, I mustered up the courage to finally make a post about how I view Silco and Jinx's relationship and why I think it is actually a lot better than it's commonly perceived. Please please please do not assume that I do this to specifically whitewash Silco or make him less morally gray, this is my genuine read on them based on my own experience and views. I do not claim that I don't have any bias at all, but I think that it didn't influence my opinion that much.

I am going to say this from the start: I don't have much negative to say about them and I don't think of their relationship as toxic. If this point of view is unacceptable to you, please disregard this post. However, if you want to discuss this topic with me and challenge my points, please be civil about it and don't insult me. I don't have any ill intentions, nor am I trying to normalize unhealthy behavior.

Okay, from this preamble to another. This analysis is going to be based entirely on season 1 and nothing else. Some of my points will address common perceptions about them in the fandom, some I'll write as a regular analysis.

Now let's start shall we (yes, this is going to be a one long post because they're so so important to me). In the second paragraph I said that I don't view their relationship as toxic. Let me explain. I think this is a very complex topic and opinions will vary from person to person. Considering that both Silco and Jinx are mentally ill this adds another layer to our already complicated cake. So, for me toxic relationships are those where at least one person almost always behaves in the way they see is right, disregarding other person's wants or needs. It also must include unhealthy/toxic behaviors, i. e. manipulation, gaslighting, possessiveness, control over other person's decisions, physical and/or emotional abuse etc etc. These behaviors must be routinely occurrences and not happen only once or twice. You can say: "But a lot of things you listed exactly describe how Silco behaves towards Jinx!" well. No but I'll get to this later.

There's also an elephant in the room we need to deal with: codependency. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the topic or even well-informed, but I have a feeling that this term is a Bit overused. Terms, especially medical ones, are very useful for describing one specific thing. But as of late a lot of terms are used on things that are not. Well. The thing the term is describing. You don't need to go far for examples: hyperfixation, depression, panic attack, etc. When knowledge becomes widespread, things like that are inevitable, unfortunately. But back to the topic. Are Jinx and Silco's relationship codependent? I personally don't think so. One of the key characteristics of a codependent relationship is losing a sense of self and disregarding your wants/needs, and Jinx and Silco never display that. They are very self-driven characters. And while Jinx did do some things to impress Silco, it's not necessarily a symptom of a codependent relationship specifically. Again, I'll compare it to medical symptoms. If your right side hurts it doesn't mean you have appendicitis, if you have a short attention span it doesn't mean you have ADHD. Mental health problems Jinx and Silco have can be just that: mental health problems. Trust issues, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, etc. They don't need to be a part of a bigger problem, even if there are some similarities. (Also just a side note: I got misdiagnosed with OCD this year, so I take correct descriptions and understanding of conditions/words very personally).

MAN THAT WAS TOO LONG. GET TO THE ACTUAL POINTS.

Alright. So first of all, Jinx and Silco are VERY trusting of each other. They both allow each other to enter their personal spaces, and feel comfortable and free in each other's presence. Silco allows Jinx to do his eye injections, to show him physical affection, he also trusts her with missions for his job, even when everyone else is against it. When Jinx in ep4 tells him that "(her screw up) won't happen again", he simply answers "I know". Despite Jinx's own insecurities Silco fully trusts her (sometimes even to his own detriment). And she fully trusts him as well (until the whole Vi shenanigans anyway), what can be seen in a way she's not afraid of his emotions or even to hurt him, because she knows perfectly well that he'll never harm her in any way (physical, I mean). And although there is a clear miscommunication between them in ep4 I don't think it's a common thing between them, and this specific case was caused by Jinx's deeply rooted trauma and low self-esteem, which Silco is unfortunately unable to fix.

Now onto the probably most common criticism of Silco specifically: that he made Jinx his weapon and raised her to be this bloodthirsty on purpose. And to this I say - no way. Silco DOES love Jinx and DOES trust her, but he's not blind and not an idiot. He perfectly knows that Jinx can cause a huge mess and potential troubles on the missions, his subordinates hate her, her mental state is unstable and therefore she's not the most reliable asset in the slightest, nor a necessary one. At no point do we get actual proof that Silco needs Jinx specifically for his operations, he seems to allow her to participate in them out of her own volition. After all, she does like being needed and included in the family business. You could argue that he needs Jinx for her gadgets and weapons, but nobody besides her uses them, so this option doesn't fit. "But he did request her to build Fishbones!" yeah. After Jinx stole the gemstone, again, out of her own choice. Silco is a swift strategist, if he sees an opportunity somewhere he takes it immediately. So there's nothing actually wrong with him asking Jinx to build a weapon with the use of gemstone. She didn't steal it for it to just. Lie there, after all. As to her bloodthirsty-ness I think he only nurtured what was already there. If you remember, in the very first episode Jinx made a bomb with NAILS in it. I don't think I need to tell you that it's just a horrible idea for a bomb, and she was only 9 at the time. As to Silco's "become what they fear" line. I don't think it indicates that he specifically raised Jinx to be a weapon, because he applied the same phrase to himself and we don't see him running around throwing glitter bombs at everyone (although it would've been cool to see ngl).

Next - Silco is very supportive of Jinx. His office is filled with things she drew all over, her inventions are tied to the ceiling. When Jinx is overwhelmed and upset about the failed mission he tells her to "focus on her gadgetry" and to "take some time". He clearly knows what she likes and what would put her in a better mood. He also doesn't restrict her self-expression, which can be seen in the way Jinx looks. I mean, you'd think that Silco would probably want for her to wear something more...classy? But he doesn't mind even one bit.

Another point I see a lot - that Silco loves Jinx but not Powder. I actually kiiinda understand where this point of view comes from, because the show does frame Vi and Silco as representatives of her Powder and Jinx persona respectively, but I don't think the text itself supports this. Let's take the river scene because it is the cause of this discussion in the first place after all. Silco tells Jinx that she needs "to let Powder die" and that "Jinx is perfect", but I don't necessarily agree that he meant it in a "choose between two of your personas" kind of way, because this conflict never existed between them in the first place. Vi does want "Powder" to come back, but Silco didn't show anything that would indicate of him disliking young Jinx in any way. He did adopt her when she was still Powder, after all. And even if she changed her name on the same night, her personality didn't, because that's not how humans work. So, he NEEDED to love Powder to raise her. Back to the river scene, he tells Jinx that she needs to let Powder die so "the fear of pain would no longer control (her)". "Powder" is tightly connected to Jinx's trauma of killing her entire family and Vi leaving her, i. e. the fear of pain of being betrayed again and the fear of messing up. In terms of psychology she really does need to live through this moment and properly process it, but unfortunately there's no psychologists in neither Piltover or Zaun, and Silco being mentally ill and not knowing better himself can only help her this way. "Jinx is perfect" also doesn't mean that he prefers Jinx over Powder, but rather "Jinx, the person you are right now, is perfect and strong. You need to let that weak part of you (Powder) die, so you can move on and become something greater". Jinx might've interpreted his line in the wrong way herself, but again, there's no actual evidence of Silco liking "Powder" less and only ever wanting "Jinx". And if we hop further into the finale, he literally says "YOU are perfect". Whatever seat she chooses, she will always be perfect to him. Even if she turns against him and everything he fights for, even if she kills him, even if she hates him, she remains perfect in his eyes. He might differentiate "Powder" and "Jinx" and a weaker/stronger part of her, but despite all that she's still his daughter.

Also. He's dealing with her mental health SOOOO great chat it's not even funny. I mean obviously he can't take care of it perfectly because again, psychology is non-existent in this world, but everything he CAN do he does just sooo good. He never lets other people berate or insult her, if he scolds her he only ever does this in private, he always tries to be patient and gentle with her, and the only time we seem him lash out at her is after Jinx stole the gemstone. He also seems to know what causes her psychosis and how to stop it, because he yells "Don't listen to her!" to Jinx when Vi triggers her, and then proceeds to try and shoot in Vi's direction to shut her up. We now know that this wasn't the best decision at all, but he literally goes feral when Jinx is hurt, so can you really blame him? There is of course an issue of him enabling her violence and letting her do everything she wants, but to cut Silco some slack he deals with a very mentally ill child, and as we saw in ep3 cutting Jinx off of something can easily cause her to have a mental breakdown. So I think partly his enabling was caused by his want not to hurt her.

Phew. I think we only need to get through the minor points now.

Manipulation: we only ever see Silco manipulate Jinx once, when he lied to her about Cait and Vi's reason for being in the Underground. Nothing indicates that he regularly manipulated her before.

Possessivness: I think this claim also doesn't have substantial evidence to back it up. We only see Silco being possessive of Jinx because of Vi, and even then it's not pure possessiveness. He literally doesn't want Jinx to be betrayed and possibly even killed like him. I think if Jinx just wanted to leave him on her own he would be a-okay with that. Also he doesn't watch over what she does/where she goes, which again reinforces his trust in her and him respecting her privacy.

Silco isolated Jinx from others: uhhh. See the end of the previous paragraph. If Jinx wanted to befriend someone she could've easily done that, and Silco wouldn't even know. The only person she couldn't befriend because of him is Ekko, but even he says to Vi that Jinx chose to be on Silco's side herself, so *shrugs*

And with that, I think I covered everything I wanted about their relationship. It's not perfect, but it's not bad either. Personally, I don't want to label it as anything, because minus the drug mafia and murders aspects they're just a regular father and daughter. There are no perfect parents, there are no perfect children, but if they try their hardest to love each other in a way they're both happy with, they're great in my book.

[returntosunder]

You know what? I'm just gonna share what I can/want on all of my AUs, one at a time. I spoke about UnderRough last time, so this time I'll share some little bits of...

(Just some of it, not ALL of it. Even then, prepare for a long rant.)

Inspiration: when I was first getting into the Undertale community, I was noticing a severe lack of AUs where Sans swaps with Asriel. Slowly, I came up with swaps for mostly the main characters (Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Napstablook, etc). After aging and getting back into the fandom, I realized quite a few flaws (seeing how young I was when first making it) and decided to redo a few things. Now let's get into the actual AU.

Basics: as previously stated, UnderTear is a swap AU with unique differences. However, before we get into those differences, let's go over the basics.

The swaps are fully roleswap, yet only 25% personality swap.

Sans swaps with Asriel, Papyrus swaps with Undyne, Napstablook swaps with Alphys who swaps with Grillby, Muffet swaps with Mettaton, and Monster Kid swaps with the Scarf Mouse. (That's not every swap, just the main characters.)

Toriel and Asgore actually keep their roles stay the same, but swap personalities. Frisk and Chara aren't swapped at all. (Neither are plenty of the "NPCs")

Okay, now for some of the unique stuff~ (again, prepare for a huge bit of ranting.)

The Skelebros: Sans and Papyrus actually had parents before the war broke out. One of which, the father, was the brother of Aster. A few weeks after the war, neither of their parents made it underground. Aster, being the royal scientist, asked the Dreemurr's if they could care for Sans and Papyrus for him. (One, because Papyrus was still an infant, and two, because a dangerous is no place to raise children.) They humbly accepted seeing how Asriel would soon be born as well.

The Spiders and the Machine: seeing how Muffet replaces Mettaton, she would become the young star of the Underground. However, hidden behind the entertainer's life was her older cousin, Lizzie. She would be the one who helped raise Muffet and provide aid in her rise to stardom. Meanwhile, Mettaton would be a robot built and discarded by Aster years ago. Napstablook's cousin would eventually find the robot body, fix it up a bit, and use as the driving force behind a heavy metal rebellion against Muffet. (Said rebellion started because of Muffet and Napstablook continuously fighting for Papyrus. I have a post on my blog that explains where that started.)

The first Amalgamate: you may remember months ago I requested art of a character named Trajan. Well, here's some more info on him. In UnderTear, Mystery Man and Gaster are two entirely different characters. Trajan is the Mystery Man and WD G Aster is the Gaster. Trajan first applied for the soul experiment when he managed to defeat a human who attacked one of his other monster friends. Once he was injected with DT however, he quickly found out how horrible of an idea it was. Somehow, he would wake up in a void like area known only as the Darkness. (That's all I got on him right now, but I do have an ask blog around him. @asktrajan)

I'm just now realizing I'm reiterating things I've already talked about on my blog. And I don't wanna have to delete all that. So here's a quick detail that I haven't discussed before now: in UnderTear, the WD in Aster's name doesn't stand for Wingdings. At least not originally. At first, the WD stood for Wadeline. After Gaster fell into his creation though, he became distorted. Thus his font would switch to Wingdings. (Not sure what the G stood for though.)

PHEW. Ok. I think that's all I can handle typing. There's still plenty of stuff I haven't shared, but I'm saving that for my blog. Hope you're intrigued! X3

Ooo role swap au! I had to make a bunch of notes to visually see who is placed in what role cause my brain needs a visualizer lol. (Side not, im absolutely LOVING Muffet taking Mettatons place in this. They are both my faves and this is a fun mix ^^)

Sans and Papyrus being raised by the Dreemers is so flippin cute omg I love that ^^ and ya I remember trajan (ive looked into your blog too, but im gonna have to look through it again so I can have a refresher on his info ^^') ooo WD becoming Wingdings is after the incident is actually interesting, him having a different name before is really neat change to his story i love that!

Thanks for sharing what you have! I understand that saving info for your blog so im glad you can still share stuff here ^^

[thaltro]

Genuine question; where is the line for how SFW discussions about Nightwatch have to be? Like this is not me asking if we can sexualize characters, just checking if we can openly refer to topics like genitalia. It seems like you’re interested in exploring themes of transness (and by extension biological sex) in this story and you included skeletons having ecto bodies (I assume as a way of implementing a gender binary and gender roles in a species that otherwise has no visual form of sexual dimorphism), which sort of alludes to the existence of a conversation about how sexuality works in this world that could be explored. It’s obvious from the boundaries post that anything graphic and references to specific sexual acts is off limits, but would talking about how the magical equivalent of bottom surgery would work or which parents would opt out of their kid having to take a Sex Ed class be allowed?

Nightwatch is already kinda not fully sfw, I’ll probably have to update my boundaries because of it tbh

No nobody is having sex but there’s a lot of torture, gore, discussions about sexual assault, child abuse, and a big overarching theme of suicide and self harm.

I’ll put warnings and have an advisory for mature themes but it’s already pretty dark I guess.

I’m not gonna show or describe reproductive parts- exploring dream being intersex and trans I don’t really see as nsfw I guess? There is world building for how sex and gender are constructed for monsters. For monsters they have many different common ways of presenting both physically and gender wise- so their idea of gender/sex is much more flexible and fluid then humans.

If a monster was trans then they typically would go through a magical transition, if they have no access to magic they would take injectable artificial magic from a hospital.

But I don’t really see an issue with talking about scientific biology because I put an effort in that lore.

Regarding my current boundaries, atm it is just not having people interact with me sexually. I won’t post sexually explicit content and I don’t want people asking me too. If people do make nsfw (just sex stuff I’m referring to really) of nightwatch (I really doubt it would get that big to even need a statement like this) I’d just want them to keep it in spaces that minors can’t easily find or access- also know the risk that I might see it because I’m like a hawk on all fanart.

I encourage horror art or art that matches the more mature themes- because that’s what nightwatch is I guess. That also goes for discussions on themes in it. If there is any at all lol,,because my expectations for fandom size is low

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

Back again with the erin topic, i’ve read the other day in a online forum that axl caused erin’s miscarriage, i have no idea if it’s true but okay, i’ll give you the link and the extract of it, since it’s in spanish because i’m from Argentina lol sorry.

https://www.guioteca.com/rock/la-terrible-relacion-de-axl-rose-con-erin-everly-una-historia-que-termino-en-violencia-brutal/

This is the extract i meant: “One night in 1989, Erin had enough and went home. But Axl followed her and knocked on her door. He held a gun to his temple and said he would shoot himself if they didn’t get married.” that’s one, here’s the other: “You know how rock is; within its stories, there are chapters that are impossible to verify. The saddest one says that during those days, Erin became pregnant, but Axl liked to drag his wife across the floor. He would grab her by the hair while she screamed for him not to kill her. In one of the musician’s fits of rage, Everly supposedly lost the baby. That was the sign the couple needed to end the relationship.”

At first, I thought a similar way about Erin’s miscarriage because her relationship with Axl was tumultuous, and the stress she was experiencing could’ve caused the baby to die. However, after further looking into this, I can’t conclude that Axl was the sole reason for Erin’s miscarriage. Neither of us know what TRULY happened, but there seems to be other factors that link to her miscarriage. I’ll gladly discuss it below the cut.

Firstly, there are many reasons why women suffer miscarriages. It could be because of environmental factors such as being exposed to toxins, like radiation, or smoking, drinking alcohol, and using illegal drugs. I don’t know if Erin smoked, but I do know Axl took up the habit, and so did a majority of the population during the ‘80s. The second-hand smoke from cigarettes could’ve been a factor. I also hope Erin strayed away from alcohol after discovering she was pregnant since alcoholic beverages can cause deformities.

There was a drug-related incident that occurred between Erin and Steven Adler where she overdosed on heroin. Erin got pregnant in the summer of 1990. Steven was fired from GNR on September 6, 1990. A few days later, Erin got into a physical fight with Axl and went to Steven, asking to inject her with heroin. Steven claims he never injected Erin, yet, both Andy McCoy and Angela Nicolletti, who were witnesses that night, declare otherwise.

Not only did Erin overdose, she was found with her pants down, and many speculated Steven raped her. I’m not sure if this part is even true but I find it odd (and disturbing) how Erin was left in such a state. She was taken to the hospital afterwards and survived. The newspapers manipulated parts of Erin’s story, explaining that the cause for her hospitalization was because Axl beat her when, in reality, it was because of her OD. I’m speculating her OD played a huge part in her miscarriage.

Other reasons why women miscarry is because of food poisoning, diseases, infections, high fevers, and a weakened cervix - known as fibroids - where the cervical muscles dilate too early during pregnancy. It’s possible Erin might’ve had these other problems as well, we just don’t know about it’s confirmation.

Although Axl and Erin’s relationship had become “very strained” by August of 1989, I like to believe Axl beat Erin less and regulated his emotions more after finding out she was gonna have a baby. Why do I believe this? Because, in Axl’s Rolling Stone interview, from 1992, he explains:

My mom's pregnancy wasn't a welcome thing. My mom got a lot of problems out of it, and I was aware of those problems…My real father was a pretty fucked-up individual. I didn't care too much for him when I was born. I didn't like the way he treated my mother. I didn't like the way he treated me before I was born. So when I came out, I was just wishing the motherfucker was dead.

Perhaps Axl was subconsciously aware how his mistreatment towards Erin could affect the baby, making him try to be a better individual, not just for Erin, but for their child. They probably still fought, just not as often, or as intensely as before. In another interview, Axl tells Howard Stern how his relationship with Erin is “stronger than it’s ever been!” He sounded pretty delighted and genuine about it, too. It doesn’t make any sense to me why Axl would act like his father, you know? Hence, why I believe he tried to be a better person.

People can interpret Erin’s miscarriage as a sign that their relationship was gonna end soon. Nothing else was gonna bring them closer together. The baby was their only hope 🥺

As for Axl’s “gunpoint proposal” to Erin, here’s my response to that whole situation => here

Hopefully this clarified everything for you, anon! <3

[warprotocol]

rambling - young heid

MAN, you guys. i just keep thinking about that shinra archeology post where they talk about how heid was a high-ranking officer in a pmc and he grew disillusioned with it and ended up following shinra because he way preferred his ambition / drive.

first of all, i'll say it once and i'll say it again. my guy gave up his career to follow a twink's dream. ( you don't think shinra was a twink, look at the PICTURES man ).

secondly, it's such a good indication of what they BOTH were once like. i think people play ffvii and are like 'all shinra execs are nasty awful people bla bla'. first of all, allow me to point you to palmer. man is actually so hilarious. when his booking gets taken by reeve in gold saucer and my man just goes 'aight, where's the drinks at tho-'. umm, someone call the BASED police (this made me cringe but im keeping it cause funny).

but YEA, my point. people get all - 'oh the old execs at shinra are stinky evil corpo dudes'. which yah, that's a trope and we can sit there are discuss it BUT i love it when stories etc acknowledge characters were once young. may have once had different beliefs. may have once BEEN different. we're all weird people, right? people change all of the time and i love exploring the human-ness of humans when i obsess over characters ( my boy, mainly. im like that chick with the 127 hrs obsession cept its heid lol ).

let's get back on track -

i just adore the idea that once upon a time, heid was a good, tough soldier. he was a dude who believed in something. a man who was maybe more in line with angeal/zack's line of thinking than something stereotypically evil. he left his pmc because they were money grabbing, because shinra was ambitious. that must mean a LOT for someone to up and leave their life 1. due to dissatisfaction and 2. due to admiring someone's dream so much.

in a way, it puts a small, innocent spin on heid/shinra's friendship & goals. they weren't always these two evil dudes who wanted to the world. they were potentially friends who just wanted something more than what they had. who followed a dream (like angeal/zack etc). they got caught up in the money, the power, the excess that came with climbing to the top and it slowly changed them ( or, maybe just peeled back some layers to reveal what was lurking beneath the surface all that time ).

i know this is a ramble, but i just adore it and i'd love to inject it into my writing more.

i just imagine older members of staff and older people knowing and seeing a side of shinra/heid that makes them trust them. it makes them buy into them. it's that old-fashioned sort of 'they were good in my day so they're still good now'. when, in truth, shinra/heid now totally twist the memory of their past selves in order to get even more of what they want from people.

[thefangdomcryptid]

Villains

Yeah, I've been trying to sleep but it's been eluding me, and when sleep eludes me, I tend to hyperfocus on things. In this case, villains and how people treat them or worse, people that like them.

I am and always have been a fan of villains and morally grey characters. I just find them fascinating, and love to see what drove them to their actions. I see a lot of people that complain about villains not being villains anymore and I'm just here like: perhaps you never really understood them in the first place. Perhaps you just want them to be one-dimensional because the thought of humanizing them and realizing that that villain could very well be you, or someone you love if someone just pushed you hard enough, if someone just bullied you hard enough. Perhaps, if that is how you want to see them, then they're not for you, and that's okay. And even villains who are just "irredeemable" still have some depth to them. Slaughtering millions for no reason because you can is soooo basic (yes I'm looking at you Bhaal. Bombastic side-eye)

Also the constant "but they're evil, they can never do good!" Even alignments are flexible. Because *gasp!* they were written by humans with complex emotions. Good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things, it's not a one size fits all characterization.

And then of course, my biggest pet peeve is when people police how you enjoy your characters. "You can like this villain, BUT you can't condone their actions." I am here to tell you, yes I can. You know why? Because THEY ARE VILLAINS. They're not going to invite people for tea and crumpets now are they? Villains do villainous things and that includes some very unsavory crap. Which I am fine with, because again, they're not the good guys. And sometimes, I'm glad some villains bite the dust, because they're just bad people. And sometimes I find myself rooting for some form of redemption story.

Sometimes villains are not for you, accept it and move along, instead of trying to inject your unwanted opinion into every piece of media involving a villain you hate.

Same goes for certain types of media. No creator has to cater to your sensitive soul. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Shows and books like Outlander or Game of Thrones are not for everyone, so instead of trying to police people who can stomach such content, find something else to read, there are enough books and shows out there that fit what you like. And no, just because a writer writes questionable stuff, it does not mean they are into that, and also, actors are NOT their characters, get therapy. For real.

And last but not least, I am not here to start and endless discussion with fandom weirdos. Try me and get blocked.

I will leave you with a gif of Aemond serving CVNT. (And no, I am not Team Green or Black, I am Team Aemond, Team Daemon and Team Dragon LOL)

[gollywallyy]

what’s Hallie’s story? How did they end up together?

Honestly, I’ve been building on it for years and I think I just got it good for the Arkhamverse and my AU 🫶 bless you for asking because I genuinely wanted to babble about this for a good second!!

(Art credit; @wingedqueenlynx / putrefy on fb and twitter!)

Putting this under a read more since it’s a lot and i don’t wanna clog up the tags lol

Hallie grew up in Gotham, mainly the part of Gotham that’s in poverty and crime is pretty active and high. Her mother, Maggie, got pregnant from her husbands friend, which quickly ended that friendship and strained the marriage they had for so long.

Maggie, not in favor of getting rid of Hallie, carried her until 12 months later. Her husband, Derick, barely ever gave Hallie attention when she was growing up. Never really holding her, feeding her, or just really being there. He was honesty hurt to even look at Hallie when she was a baby/toddler, knowing that she only had her mothers gene that was between the two of them, the other being his best friend since high school.

Maggie noticed this really really quick, trying her hardest to have him be close to her and ignore the elephant in the room to give her a good childhood. It worked, for a few months, until he broke and yelled at her, saying how horrible she is for doing this to him, how he could never love a child that’s not his, and that was conceived from cheating. How he only saw her and his best friends feature on her, and wanted her gone for good.

She tried to fight for Hallie to still stay with them, even saying she would agree to a divorce with him if it meant she could keep her. He declined and stood his ground this time, not even budging from his stance on this.

After all of that, Hallie didn’t know what was happening as she was only 4 years old when they began this discussion. Derick pressing onto Maggie that she’s too young to really remember what’s going on, and someone would happily take her from the orphanage, giving her a better home than what they can give. As they began to help her pack for a ‘trip’, they left shortly, and headed to pinkneys orphanage, barley even a word spoken from Derick as Maggie tried to be strong and not let on what’s going on.

As they arrived, they brought in Hallie’s bag, letting her wander and look about, as they wrote down information and everything they need to do this. A good 15 minutes later, they sighed and left quickly, as to not see her after all of this and make it harder. Hallie, coming back to the officer to find her parents and ask what’s going on, she noticed her bags were left and they’re no where to be seen. The lady at the front desk feels horrible for her, as she consoles her and tried to comfort with what’s going on.

For her stay at the orphanage, she began to decline in her mental health, getting bullied and punched by the boys, and being harassed by the girls on her side of the living arrangements. Soon, she just sorta snaps and begins to fight back, even getting close to breaking someone’s arm for just taking her food. At this point, she was really gone and more like a rabid animal than a teenager through puberty.

After a bad incident with nearly almost killing another kid there, the cops were called and she was sent to the adolescent unit in Arkham until they know what to really do for her. It wasn’t better there for her either, panic attacks and meltdowns, she was strapped to a gurney and forced to calm down either by the doctors letting it happen until she became unconscious, or if by extreme methods, injecting her with medications that will knock her out enough for them to plan the next step.

As she was there for months now, no sign of them moving her somewhere different or even if that was a thing they wanted to do, she began to sorta isolate from the others and not be social at all, nearly becoming reclusive. One of the guards there, Isaac frost, was sadly the person that she latched onto after all of this, even with her being a minor and him an adult. He pretended to be a good guy, someone she would trust and do whatever for, not letting it slip of who he really was.

He managed to get her free from Arkham when she turned 18, as she was a legal adult now, with Isaac pulling strings in the background for it to happen at all. After she began to live with him, things slowly got worse over time; his drinking, his yelling, the way he talks down to her, and even embarrasses her for fun infront of people. He knew what he was doing for sure, breaking her down enough that she’ll let him build her up to something he wants.

With him doing all of that, Hallie only got more reclusive again, barely ever going out or seeing others. Part of it being now social anxiety to the highest, part of it the control Isaac has over her that she has to asl permission to go out, and if he doesn’t want her to? She doesn’t. Fighting against this will only make a fight, which Hallie is just honestly weak to do right now.

Besides all of that, Isaac did allow her to go to college since she was a A+ student in and out of Arkham, making her eligible to go to Gotham university. It was a big struggle at first, given on her record she was at Arkham for aggravated assault, but thanks to Isaac once more, pulling strings, she was allowed in.

Hallie began to study psychology, as she did learn a lot of things in Arkham, soon becoming a huge interest to help others and learn about the human mind and brain more and more. After sometime and her grade being good as ever, the teacher announced that those who have good grades will be able to be side by side with a psychologist at certain locations; black gate prison, Arkham asylum, and the Wayne’s mental health foundation.

Hallie didn’t want to do the foundation as she’s heard horror stories, neither Arkham due to her own issues with them, so she chose black gate. The only two psychologists there were dr. Harleen quinzel, and dr. Jonathan crane. She’s heard about dr. Crane before, even reading his book before she started college, figuring that he was very well known in the field and outside. Hallie filled out a form to sign up for this, the teacher surprised she chose him out of harleen.

Her teacher did warn her about how strict and basically uptight he is with things, Hallie taking mental notes of this. After a month, she got the approval to be his student/apprentice.

The time she began to spend with him, noting what he points out and does, even making sure she learns to read his face, making sure she was doing what she was suppose to do and if it was okay with him. First few days were abit irritating to handle with crane, mainly how he seems very.. mean to the patients, even kinda cruel to them if they don’t give him what he wants to hear and do. Seeing how he bickers and fights with dr. Quinzel, with her pointing out his flaws with group therapy, and him saying how gentle and stupid she is with them.

There were moments she was the middle man, harleen wanting her to tell crane what she says, and by guessing how he reacts to it, she’ll tell harleen what he had to say about it. Weirdly enough, this telephone game she was playing with them only really brought crane close to her in a way. Normally he’d insult and be rude with her, slowly now complimenting her alittle, if you squint your eyes you can tell. He’ll give her less work if she seems too stressed and close to a breakdown, even allowing her MAYBE a day off.

It wasn’t until more months in the program, crane finally sorta allowed her to be by his side with this, not in his shadow anymore. He’d use her information she gave to him about mental health to pick apart peoples brain, even learning more about reading people and their energy. Which he did know greatly about, but got abit more information than he had. Hallie began to feel more relaxed when working with him, not really tired or stressed. Just sorta happy to be around him.

When Jonathan learned about her marriage with Isaac, he was quick to suggest to leave him, after hearing how they met. Commenting that it’d be stupid as hell to stay with someone like that, and that she’s smarter than this. Hallie tries to fight him on it, saying that the good times over weigh the bad times.

That was, until he began to be alittle physical with her, shoving and pushing her out of the way, getting into her face and pretending that he was going to hit her. Which in turn, made her just get closer to Jonathan, seeing him as the light in a dark hole. It was not long until she began to feel more with him, now really doing whatever he says even if it was confusing and concerning. In some messy way he was her savior and someone that she needed in her life.

After sometime of course, things got more sensual with crane, him basically kinda using a power balance with her. She’s just an intern, he’s the leader here. Soon, after Jonathan got invited to a professional party with the head of black gate and Hugo strange. He was told that he’s invited to bring a plus one to it, him thinking it over until he comes to the conclusion that Hallie would be more suitable than harleen, plus.. given how she has nearly the same knowledge of the human mind and psyche, Jonathan could show her off and show people how great of a teacher he was, even with the gun incident.

After the party is nearly over, Jonathan suggests to drive her home, given she couldn’t get ahold of Isaac at all. She agrees and jumps into his car, until he suggests once more that they could go to his place, show her more of his own lab and work he’s been brewing out of sight. Part of it was true, part of it was because he wanted her, in a sexual sense.

With him bringing her to his home, and countless times he has brought her over to show her how is toxin is, and how it works, along with fucking her of course.

With some time passing, before Arkham Shadow, Jonathan begins to make her work on his toxin with him, pressing her to grab inmates that would be suitable for this. Hallie, who now has Jonathan as her Favorite Person, and obsession now, willingly does it, sometimes making sure they were bad people beforehand, sometimes not caring.

After Shadow, with Jonathan having eyes on him now after the court incident, he becomes scarecrow with the help of the psyche break, and she finally leaves Isaac and goes off grid basically, no way he could find her unless he REALLY digs for it.

At this point of the timeline, Hallie is more.. unstable and skittish, happily doing whatever Jonathan wants, and there are times she does fight what he wants, not wanting anything to do with it, but normally fails and puts her head down and does it.

[letters-to-rosie]

another fic idea: the timebomb Howl's Moving Castle AU

Ekko's Moving Treehouse!

blatantly inspired by @redrum-alice's FANTASTIC artwork and developed in collaboration with @lullabyes22-blog, because I've been fawning over the art since it was posted and I just knew there had to be a way this could work because it was so cute and the potential just jumped off the page for me

(you've probably seen it but go look at it if you haven't it's so good)

me and Lullabyes have both read the book and seen the movie, so we combined a lot of ideas from both versions, and this is the result so far:

so Silco is the Witch of the Waste lol

Jinx's curse turns her eyes pink (and they stay that way, like Sophie's hair turning white!)

our girl is on a journey of ✨self-discovery✨ and to find her family. Silco does not understand why and just wants her to come home for dinner lol

instead of happening upon Ekko, Jinx goes looking for him because she heard there's a wizard wandering around who helps people

Ekko's castle is a treehouse, and the roots walk!

Jinx: "What a stupid way to treat a tree!" DX (a book line lol)

Jinx keeps arguing with the curse and it weirds Ekko out but she's just arguing with Silco lol

Ekko is a big grump because he gave his heart away to protect it after so much loss 😭

Jinx does not clean his house. she just redecorates. she draws on everything, including the Wall of the Fallen, and Ekko is thisssss close to strangling her at all times but he's promised to help

Jinx: "Ya gotta inject some levity into this narrative!" /casually breaks 4th wall

Silco's henchpeople keep showing up and Ekko fights them off but they're just trying to get Jinx to come back for dinner

Silco: "Discover? What are you discovering? Gold? Dinner's getting cold!"

at some point Jinx will have to cut up Ekko's clothes mwahaha

Ekko has the Slime Meltdown™ because Jinx breaks his hoverboard and he needs to be airborne and free or else there's no point in living

Heimerdinger is Madame Sullivan/Suliman, Ekko's old magic teacher who tells Jinx she's a witch like in the book 🪄

he even has the intro that makes him appear all spooky at first before his furball nature is revealed

maybe instead of giving life to things she animates machines???

they have a cute breakfast scene in Ekko's treehouse where Jinx eats real fruit the first time

Vi leaves a flare lit for Jinx all this time, and Ekko helps her find it

we didn't discuss this, but I think it would be interesting if Vi was Turnip Head, trying to communicate through Jinx throughout the story and maybe pushing her into situations that she doesn't really want (which has to do with how we're imagining the ending; Vander could also be Warwick instead and serve the same purpose???? wait I'm cooking here)

I also want Ajuna to be Michael/Markl lol

the end of the story sees Jinx decide to be true to herself; even though she knows that Silco and Vi both love her, she's gotta do her own thing

despite being super annoying lol she helps Ekko live in the moment and get his heart back, and they fall for each other and it's mushy as hell okay

"She's like very decorative lichen growing on his tree and he can't get rid of her, so by the story's end she's just become part of the natural treescape."

and at the end they keep traveling in the treehouse to see the world and help people and so Jinx can come into her witch powers

probably would be easy to insert all the war themes

Jinx coming into her own and being cute, Ekko learning to love again after this woman just barges into his life, family themes, romance, what more could we want???

[cinderflower]

🧡 💖 💔 💀 ER (i recognize the last two are probably the same question but fuck it we ball lol)

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

That Trina has always been a separate being from Miquella. Her existence being entwined with Miquella has largely informed my perspective on his character and the way the base game presents Trina as being an alias for Miquella that exists only in the realm of dreams never struck me as a Marika/Radagon situation but rather a case of Trina being an intentional expression of Miquella's identity. It's why I headcannon Miquella as genderfluid/transfemme, because in a setting where he's trapped in a body which can't grow and can't change, it always seemed so intentional that his alter ego in the dream world would be feminine/androgynous which we see in the item descriptions mistaking Trina for both a young boy and young girl. I don't think there's any way anyone would mistake DLC Trina for a young boy, and there's also such a disconnect in her design vs the base game Trina designs we see on all the related items.

The only interpretation I will ever be on board with is that Trina was always a facet of Miquella and when he split Trina out it was his way of forcing himself into a box and just like he had to cast aside his flesh and his fears, Trina was him casting aside his love - self love, and the identity he chose for himself, sacrificing that part of him for a future path I don't think he initially intended to walk. And that's when I think it becomes a Marika/Radagon situation, not before then.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

Again more about the DLC than the base game but I really don't like how they approached the overarching narrative they tried to tell. I think the base game's approach in discussing the systems of violence being wielded by the Golden Order and how its presence and existence caused the world to stagnate, and how the pursuit of power and change by those too entrenched in the system that they're doomed to fail, was so much more powerful than the same tired Everything Is Cycles narrative they fell back on with the hornsent and Miquella becoming Marika 2.0

The DLC narrative was also SO heavy handed in some of the points which they didn't do in the base game?? Which was really jarring to me as a longtime FS player where everything is usually so cryptic and vague and then for a couple of the key plot beats in the DLC it was bashing the players over the head with telling not showing and I just don't like that approach, it's not what lures me into FS games.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

Definitely Promised Retcon Radahn - the inclusion of him and all his side characters in the DLC has such insane friction with the base game lore that was setup and makes a battle that had such a strong impact narratively now make NO sense for the characters or their motivations. His inclusion has done such irreparable harm to the series and all the characters involved including Radahn. His character should have remained what it was in the base game because it made him so much more compelling and interesting within the narrative. Plus it would have spared me from having the see the most brain dead takes to try and justify the whole subplot.

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

This might be a spicy hot take, but I think Miquella should have been dead in the cocoon. I guess you can argue he is maybe? But it's so unclear what's actually going on with that body. It's always kind of what I thought was going to be the original direction with his character anyway, where his haligtree transformation got interrupted, FM influence gets injected and Miquella dies and his body becomes a vessel for the FM and the repercussions of that. Kind of like how Godwyn becomes a husk for Destined Death thats corrupting the land, I really wanted to explore what the fallout would have been from a FM corrupted Miquella zombie. Miquella/Trina still could have existed in the dream world as spirits but his flesh would have been dead. Ah, what could have been, oh well.

[melonteee]

i have a feeling many people went in with the same resolution of focusing on moments they did right and acknowledging the flaws later (and then cranked it up to eleven whoops here's the positivity crusade comin' in hot) . i can count a shit ton of weird scenario moments, scenes missing and scenes injected, some pretty bizarre and disappointing, but generally? after 8 episodes? it's a good show *shrugs*. like, honestly, we're the minority who actually reads into themes and characters, so it's the bias of a fan - which is the source of a criticism in a good faith - but to eye of a first time watcher, i have a feeling it's going to be a positive experience all in all (au contraire to bebop), and more than welcoming to engage with the source. which is good!

if they don't, well... okay, that's up to discussion how true the characters were to themselves to paint a general picture - over the course of first eight eps and with the promise of growth if the next seasons are going to happen *shrugs*

No but exactly, it IS a good show. It does do things well, in all honestly the biggest flaw IS the script. But apart from some odd shots, everything else feels fine! I never questioned whether this show would be good, I questioned if this show would be its OWN. But it unfortunately heavily relies way too much on the nostalgia base, and the fandom uproar, to actually BE something. I can feel a semblance of a beating heart, but unfortunately it's not strong enough to truly invest me. It doesn't know what it's trying to be and if it wants its own voice or not.

Again, this show is great if I turn my brain off for it, but as you said anon - we are the minority who are scoping this under a critical eye - and I can fully accept I see it this way because my head is way too laser focused on the writing of one piece lol. By no means saying the average viewer is stupid at all for this, but just saying they can go into this with a lot more energy than I can hhh

[keplercryptids]

Hey, I sent an ask earlier asking about help with medications for migraines and I now see a bunch of your past resource posts. Thank you for taking the time to write and post about your experiences.

I was prescribed sumatriptan a few months ago, but haven't taken it often because it makes me feel dizzy, fatigued, lightheaded, and gives me brain fog. But I've been taking 50mg and never considered decreasing the dose! I plan to try 25mg now. I've been relying on ibuprofen, excedrin, and cannabis to treat pain which isn't great for my long term health. If you have any more suggestions, they are more than welcome and very appreciated

I guess I have 2 new questions, if you'll have em :)

1. So far I haven't found any of your posts that discuss preventative options. Do you have experience with these? What was your experience like?

2. Healthline says that one shouldn't cut or crush the tablet. Based on your posts, I assume your experience with doing this is fine, but I wanted to make sure before trying it.

Genuinely thank you for any help you may be able to give me. I downloaded the keeler method because of your recommendation.I appreciate it🐝

hi! some folks definitely get some gnarly side effects from sumatriptan. i was told by my physician that cutting the pill in half is fine, and i've been cutting the pills for 10 years without issue. but take that with a grain of salt, i'm obviously not a chemist lol. you may also want to ask your doctor about other triptans (rizatriptan, zolmitriptan, etc). it's possible that you'll react similarly to all triptans, but maybe there's an option that you'll tolerate better.

there are many options for migraine preventatives, which i have been exploring for 7 or 8 years now. keep in mind that my experience comes from living in the US with private health insurance. i can't speak to how you'd go about this in a different country or if you're uninsured, etc. also keep in mind that health insurance might not approve you for preventatives (especially the newer, better ones) unless you've been diagnosed with chronic migraine (meaning, 15 or more migraine days per month).

something i highly recommend to everyone suffering from regular headaches is to start taking magnesium. start at a lower dose (200mg daily), which you can increase to 400-600mg. magnesium is affordable, accessible and well-tolerated by most people, and is shown to be effective at preventing migraines. the main side effect is a laxative effect, so proceed cautiously if you have problems with that.

as far as prescriptions go, older migraine preventatives fall into three classes: antidepressants (usually amitryptaline), anticonvulsants (topiramate is a common one), and blood pressure medications. newer (and better, but more expensive) preventatives are: botox injections and CGRP inhibitors. in most cases, you'll need to jump through hoops to get these better preventatives. health insurance usually requires that you try and fail two of the three classes of old-school preventative before approving you for botox or CGRPs.

i've tried amitryptaline (did nothing; also, i don't tolerate antidepressants well) and three different anticonvulsants (topiramate, gabapentin and lamotrigine). i had horrible reactions to the anticonvulsants, with side effects like constant brain fog, tingling in my extremities, changes to how food tasted, increased headaches, and a full-body rash, to name a few. i don't say this to discourage anyone from trying these preventatives--in fact, many folks have great results with them. but they're medications used to stop seizures. they're heavy duty and the side effects should be weighed against their benefit.

botox (injected every three months by my neurologist) worked amazingly for about 6-8 months, and at its best i was only getting one or two migraines a week (which for me is great). but over the last six months, it stopped working as well and i was back to getting 10-15 migraine days per month. i would have liked to keep getting botox while pursuing other options, but insurance wants you to try monotherapies first. so i stopped botox and i'm in the process of getting approved to try aimovig (a CGRP inhibitor that you inject yourself once a month). there are other CGRPs that are in tablet form, like nurtec. CGRPs work remarkably well for lots of people, so i'm hopeful.

as a final note to this very long post lol, if you're able to get a referral to a neurologist or, better yet, a neurologist with a migraine/chronic pain specialty, i highly recommend doing so!

[skaruresonic]

If I had a nickel for every time I've seen the fandom of a Konami franchise being filled with anti-woke dudebros poisoning the well of criticism against a product, giving the fans of said product an easy excuse to dismiss every criticism against it because "You're just X-phobic" I'd have 2 nickels

How quaint

(bonus: both games are 2001 sequels to seminal first entry titles and considered overhyped/series' golden cows by some :P)

Yeah, like. It's hard to wedge in a discussion on what the game is actually about when both sides are too busy accusing each other of being bigoted. Meanwhile you're just standing there like "can we talk about the themes and gameplay now." Lol.

The number of times I've heard a YouTuber sneer "woke," as if that even meant anything to the SH2 remake's standard of quality in general, and noped out of the rest of the video are... well... more than one, to say the least.

Like, I don't really care in the slightest about whether Bloober injected "DEI" into the game; I care about whether they made a faithful remake, and in my estimation they haven't.

I don't think they had an agenda other than to gratify their own egos by leeching onto the creative work of Team Silent, because they've pretty much said so in their own words. It's frankly kind of stupid to go the conspiratorial route with how Bloober are pushing some "woke" agenda when the Silent Hill series has always been, more or less, "woke." Maybe not along the axis of race - it'd be nice to have an indigenous protagonist - but certainly along that of gender.

Seriously, if 1-4 released as-is today, they'd be decried "woke."

Harry Mason, an adoptive dad proving to be a far superior parent to his child than Dahlia Gillespie, an abusive mom who subjects her child to years of torture for personal gain? Preposterous! What do you mean he's not a secret predator?

A game where a terminally-ill woman is not portrayed as a total martyr, and her husband isn't an alpha male? Insulting! Not to mention how they ~sexualize~ Angela's trauma: Team Silent must be pedos somehow!

Don't even get me started on 3 lmao. The fucking field day they'd have with 3. "This game is a load of garbage because it's pushing a trans agenda!" (game is one big metaphor for unwanted pregnancy but also covers topics like religious trauma, guilt, revenge, abuse, and sin) "Why do they expect me to empathize with a girl protagonist? Everybody knows girls don't suffer the way boys do! Do they want me to change my gender right this second????"

4... well, tbh, I think they'd be okay with 4 since Eileen and Cynthia receive sexy outfits. But idk, they'd probably find something to bitch about there too ig. Maybe something about how Henry isn't chad enough to defeat Walter, or how Walter is a beta cuck because mommy issues. (shrug)

[cosmicjoke]

the fact that there is still a lot of mistranslated information about levi circulating around probably doesn't help with people trying to erase his personality and its core aspects to fit the narrative they have created about him :') it is not bad to have headcanons about a character or to have a different opinion, but you still have to acknowledge how that character truly is in canon, not erase it and push your personal views onto other people that see differently or prefer the canon, this has always bothered me about fandoms tbh you can enjoy media or a certain character without trying to force your personal headcanon into being seen as canon (or to literally change everything about that character), and then attacking others for not agreeing on another note, i hope you have been doing okay!!<3

First, thanks for asking how I've been! Pretty good, though the last week on this site has been pretty awful, if I'm being honest, lol.

But yeah, everything you said. Nobody ever said you can't have headcanons or imagine whatever character the way you want to. That's what fanfiction and fan art is for, after all. Just don't come into discussions where people are trying to talk about the actual, canon story and inject your personal headcanons into it and present them as some sort of objective fact, because that obscures the ability to have an actually substantive discussion about the material and it causes fights. Even just the fact that these people think there's some argument to be had about what is and isn't canon is ridiculous. It's not a difficult premise to understand. The only thing that's canon is what happens in the actual story, what we see happen in the story, and it's all that ultimately matters when trying to understand the story and the characters therein.

I keep getting called homophobic because I won't say Levi is gay or in love with Erwin, as if my refusal to apply a headcanon to Levi is indicative of my bigotry, lol. I won't say it because it's not part of Levi's character, and so it's irrelevant when discussing his character and understanding who he is. It's literally nonessential. It's got nothing to do with whether I want Levi to be gay or not. Like I said, I'm writing two separate stories where I depict Levi as a gay man, lol, but apparently I'm some raging homophob to these people because I won't acknowledge their headcanon as canon or even possibly canon. I won't because it's not, not because I'm a bigot. It's like these people can't think past their own obsessions. If they paid even the slightest bit of attention to what I say when I talk about Levi within the context of canon, I never talk about his sexuality or any potential love interests he might have. I only talk about what we actually HAVE of Levi in canon. I talk about his canon relationships with other characters, I talk about his motives and essential characteristics and qualities. I talk about his actual words and actions and expressions. All stuff that actually occurs within the story itself and which can be backed up by the story and narrative.

You don't see me coming onto other people's blogs who talk about shipping Levi and Erwin, or Levi and Hange, or Levi and anyone else, and telling them they can't do that, or telling them they're wrong for doing it. I don't care. Say whatever you want, believe whatever you want. But don't come onto my blog and tell me that I'm arrogant or entitled because I won't accept their headcanon as canon. They act like I'm victimizing them because I won't affirm their headcanons on MY blog, lol. It's so stupid. They're so stupid, and so self-centered, it's almost unreal.

[theophages]

typing in the tags broke so im putting this here:

once again the internet reminds me that my experiences are not the norm.

i was also in the 2016-2019 tumblr lesbian spaces. i remember seeing a lot of discussion abt how like. lesbian is something thats available to you if you want to be - i.e. if you feel like calling yourself a lesbian largely describes your experiences you dont have to constantly worry about like. "i didn't have a violently repulsed reaction to sex with men maybe im bi" type shit. like before people blew up at the poster of the lesbian masterdoc (for realizing they're not a lesbian, i think, which is ironic because the whole point of the doc was helping people figure their shit out), all of those ideas and concepts had been floating around on tumblr for a while, the op just collected all of it.

the lesbian/sapphic spaces i was in were like the only place where i was allowed to feel like. normal for not wanting to date men. and to not feel like i was somehow closed minded for not being into more genders. this was also the only space where like discussions of unique relationships to gender as a part of being attracted to women was even discussed.

like the community talking about how you can still be a woman with a dick so why can't you be a woman who injects testosterone was a pretty big building block for my *own* personal ability to eventually pursue transition.

meanwhile non-lesbian/sapphic queer spaces were so fucking alienating to sapphics and if you pointed that out you were ruining the fun and too closed-minded, and oppressing bi people in the process because there's too many lesbians on TV.

especially in like 2014-15 (i.e., when i was a teenager) i remember pretty consistently feeling pressured to perform attraction to men in order to like, be able to make friends online, and sapphic/lesblr was my path out of that (shout out to closet-keys, gothhabiba etc).

it definitely wasn't perfect, like there was definitely toxic stuff in certain parts of sapphic/lesblr, and included stuff like "why would you date men when they're abusive" type stuff. people also definitely were oddly possessive over things like butch/fem which is why alternate terms for bi women were invented (stag and doe i think?).

but my corner (which i sought out post-monosexism discourse/other lesbophobia in 2016 or so) was generally not like that.

i would mostly just see reactions to incredibly shitty takes that were pushing back on that type of stuff. or being like. hey guys we don't need to reinvent words for every aspect of our shared culture we're literally doing too much.

all of this to say: damn it was brutal out there and its super fucking shitty that so many people were put thru the more toxic parts of lesblr.

maybe the difference in my experience (aside from being a lesbian) is bc the spaces i was in were explicitly trans women affirming & actually contained trans women (one of whom coined co-womanhood as a concept)?

but it also. hm. idk its kinda shitty when lesbians r literally always positioned as big bads in the community. which im not saying is necessarily even undeserved. but the spaces i was in *did* actually try to not be shitty. and they were a lifeline for me when i was feeling really alone and isolated in my gender & sexuality. like i felt like a freak bc i wasn't into dudes and every fucking queer space i was in (including IRL ones! for the record) made me feel othered. and basically like I wasn't radical enough bc i didnt wanna fuck men, like i couldn't know myself or my boundaries because sexuality was fluid (the queer version of you'll find a man lol).

in general from reading essays from historical lesbian collections it seems like lesbian/ sapphic communities are plagued by both the moral scrupulosity thing (which non-sapphic spaces are too - that's the whole monosexism thing in a nutshell) but also from this constant like. navel gazing? is maybe how I'd put it around being visible and demarcating our differences and the constant retreading re: effects of misogyny w/ like the impulse to generalize a few bad experiences (e.g. with misogynistic butches) into a new dimension of oppression (femmephobia).

which is fucking baffling bc like. as talia bhatt shows while some radfem theory sucks ass bc its transmisogynistic, the bedrock - stuff like "sex/gender is a system of exploitation to extract labor" is imo both correct and like. a very important foundation to actually understanding how the world works.

but also. its just really weird to see lesbian/sapphic communities i was in constantly posited as the most vicious/exclusionary places when mainstream queer spaces were talking abt how having a specific gender you were into was so passé and that would go completely unchallenged between like 2012-2015.

and to then erase the work people were TRYING to do to combat the toxic shit, to unilaterally state that we're "allowing" terfs to be the only voice for lesbians/sapphics... kinda fucking sucks.

idk, like yeah sapphic/lesbian tumblr had its issues but they were not unique to us, and it's frustrating to see an ideologically diverse community branded as the ones responsible for all of the issues. especially when the hostility towards sapphics/not being interested in men like, very literally drove me to more explicitly sapphic/lesblr corners of the internet. because the mainstream discussions queer spaces were so fucking radioactive.

i don't even know what the answer to any of this is, bc the radicalizing siloed echo chambers thing very much flows both ways, and usually starts with having a fucked up interaction with someone.

and i think that fucked up interaction typically comes from shame/insecurity that gets triggered by seeing someone live differently or in a way you don't understand. but god its fucking everywhere.

only just remembered the conversation I had with the person who said they couldn’t read anything written by a lesbian because they were a bisexual and it would be seen as infiltrating a space that wasn’t intended for them and wasting resources that weren’t theirs to use and they were terrified of getting in Trouble.

[friedesgreatscythe]

i woke up feeling a little unwell and now my throat is itchy and getting sore, and my nose is stuffy but slowly dripping. and of course i have to get up at like, 6AM to go into work tomorrow lol. if it gets worse then i'll have to call out, which i'll feel super guilty for but??? i'd rather feel guilt and be laid up in bed then miserable at work with a mask on

my time in PT is more than likely done, which is all right with me because my knee feels so much better now. plus me and my stepdad are going to the gym now, three times a week. i managed to get glp-1 after speaking with an LPN, so i have to self-inject that once a week. i'm looking forward to being able to jog on the treadmill and not losing my balance on the rowing machine thing lol. it's also really sweet that he's encouraging me and helping me. i'm 227 pounds now. my ideal weight is 160 (i want to be lower than that, of course, but if glp-1 can get me to 160, i'll be happy and the gym/appetite change will help shave off the rest).

i told my stepdad today about how the story i'm working on is becoming a terrifying exercise in 'apollo hitting me with the kickball of prophecy,' because one of the historical bits leading up to the story's present day is the US becoming completely isolated and shunned while european countries gain nukes--only for me to come across a subreddit discussion of the very same thing likely happening because of the US government's pro-kremlin belligerence and its hostile acts/removal of any support for ukraine. my stepdad mentioned how he was discussing all this with his friend in copenhagen, who (in his words) has been saying that my stepdad and the rest of us should move over there and that he'd help, and my stepdad actually said, a little resigned, "well i've been thinking about it."

at dinner, when we all speak about politics and don't shift into gallows humor about it, we've come to decide that it all comes down to the courts. once the courts are broken or endorse his agenda, it's time to move. i don't want things to get worse, but if things getting worse means we'll get out...? i acknowledge the selfishness and callousness of that thought, but another part of me says that i'm no fucking saint and if i can be healthy and safe, and my parents safe and my mother not deprived of a retiree's life of comfort after decades of hard fucking work, then so what.

anyway.